Don't Worry George, Elisabeth's Got Your Back

I have started this post three times. There are so many ways to come at the latest White House Letter from Elisabeth Bumiller that my mind actually reeled. I was dizzy. I'm better now.

As has been the most recent custom with this column, Ms. Bumiller has stepped in to defend BushCo from the slings and arrows of the world around him. In February she wrote jokey pieces about his membership in Skull & Bones and the way the White House handled the response to the AWOL scandal, which has since been dropped by the mainstream press. In the beginning of March, right around the time of BushCo's announcement supporting the FMA, we got an inside look at how BushCo doesn't hate gays. He has a transgender friend! He just doesn't want gays to have the same rights as heterosexuals and is willing to amend our Constitution to codify that belief. It's nothing personal. Last week, in answer to old and new charges that BushCo is disengaged from and disinterested in day-to-day policy making decisions, we read about how BushCo is consumed by the campaign to get elected. He's revved up and ready to engage politically and he's in charge of all the major decsions made so far.

The pattern has been that when an issue hits the public fan, there are Ms. Bumiller and the NYTimes ready to help the WH clean up the mess. This week, in direct response to Sen. Kerry's comment about BushCo's time spent at a rodeo, we get a column about Dear Leader's Time Management skills. Here's a hint: they're everything that President Clinton's weren't.

Ms. Bumiller writes:

With vigilance, at least in the case of the 43rd president. As with so much else, Mr. Bush is the mirror opposite of Bill Clinton, who routinely ran late and let meetings turn into seminars. In Mr. Bush's world, if he is not on time, he is a half-hour early; his aides say he does everything fast, including eating meals.

To his supporters, Bush Time reflects the president's discipline and focus. To his critics, it reflects rigidity and a lack of curiosity. Either way, meetings are over fast.

"There's a little joking around, but he gets right to it," said a Republican supporter who meets with Mr. Bush but did not want to be named because White House aides get angry when people talk about their closeness to the president. "He also knows how to keep others on the topic. When they veer off, he'll move them quickly back to the subject. There's not a lot of intellectual wandering going on, because he's busy. He knows what he wants to get out of a meeting."

He's vigilant and fast, on-topic and aware of what he wants. He's everywhere you wanna be! Allow me to veer off-topic here but there are a quite a few frightened people in that White House. Ms. Bumiller has had a few sources now who were frightened of either Rove or some other WH enforcer, which indicates that \using fear as a motivator doesn't seem to be working. They really aren't doing well with the leak control policy.

Back on topic: We get a rundown of a typical day. She really should have clarifed herself here and said a typical working day because we all know that a typical day for BushCo could involve a vacation. Back on topic again: Look for the anti-Clinton images: he's in bed with his wife (take it easy, they're reading newspapers - remember when we were told that he didn't do that?), he eats salad for lunch, he exercises, he retires by 9pm and it's lights out at 10. Steady leadership in dangerous times, no?

But it's overkill in some parts; subtly is not the hallmark of Ms. Bumiller's letters. We hear how he takes to bed a "giant briefing book" to prepare for the following day, but lights are out by 10pm. How much of that giant book is he going to get through in an drowzy hour in bed? Ms. Bumiller also goes out of her way to describe this model of a modern major general as "teetotaling". Maybe I'm wrong about Ms. Bumiller's subtly because that one word, practically a non sequitur, only served to remind me that he's a drunk.

It goes on, there's a story about a man who had dinner at both the Clinton and BushCo White House. He confirms the earlier assertion that President Clinton had no discipline in any situation that involved human contact. BushCo, on the other hand, orders and directs time itself. Rigid and incurious or disciplined and focused? You decide - but really, with whom would you rather have a night out? And isn't that one of BushCo's other big campaign talking points? He's the guy you could have a beer with. Well, not a beer because he's teetotaling, but a cup of coffee anyway, if you're out of there in time for him to take his giant book to bed.

Contest time! Guess the topic of the next Bumiller White House Letter and win the self-satisfaction that comes from seeing through the most obvious of scams. I'm betting on something involving BushCo's rapport with the common man as evidenced at his many campaign shows. It'll play off Sen. Kerry getting heckled this week about the foreign leaders comment.