It's been a week since Dear Leader returned from his trip to Pakistan and India, where he blew up the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty, and the question on everyone's mind is how in the world was he able to spend the night safely in Dangerous Pakistan? At least that's what Elisabeth Bumiller says and she should know:
President Bush has been back from the Asian subcontinent for more than a week now, but one big question from his trip remains: How did it happen that the president spent a night in Pakistan, the assumed haven of Osama bin Laden and one of the one most dangerous countries in the world?
Well, it happened because Perv insisted that BushCo sleep over. And Perv insisted because he was still smarting from Clinton's refusal to spend the night six years ago. (The powers of the Clenis are truly extraordinary.) Now, with Pakistan
harboring bin Laden a strong partner in the War on Terra, Dear Leader knew what he had to do. From Ms. Bumiller, who must be dusting off her biography chops in preparation for the coming "Some Choose Greatness: The Fabulous Career of Condoleezza Rice":
White House officials will not say whether Mr. Bush overruled the Secret Service in making the trip, or even if he was told not to go. But it is no secret that the service was in a state of anxiety during his time in Islamabad.
Reporters were not told that Mr. Bush would be spending the night in Pakistan until 24 hours before, which was the same day that a suicide bombing in Karachi killed an American diplomat. In Islamabad, Air Force One arrived and departed in the dark, with its running lights off and shades drawn, so that it would be less of a target for a missile attack. Once the president was on the tarmac, it was impossible to tell whether he got into a waiting motorcade — or slipped into a Blackhawk helicopter for the trip to the fortresslike American embassy, with the motorcade speeding below as a decoy.
Either way, the route of the motorcade was the site of two of four assassination attempts on Mr. Musharraf, hardly a comfort to the Secret Service. In December 2003, a large bomb detonated on a bridge 30 seconds after Mr. Musharraf's motorcade passed. Eleven days later on the same route, two suicide bombers plowed their cars into the motorcade, killing 15 people and cracking Mr. Musharraf's windshield.
Oh. My. God. He is so hot. And brave. Just like the soldiers who are killing and dying in that war he started. And that wimpy Secret Service was all like, "We're nervous!" and BushCo was all like, "I'm going! I must avenge that weakling Clinton's faux pas. Tell my wife I love her." And the Secret Service was all like "She's sitting in the helicopter next to you, sir." And he was all like, "I know that!" And they were all like, "Yes, sir. Wheels up, sir."
We are indeed a lucky and grateful nation.