Dear Torture Victims and Your Advocates Everywhere,
Please accept my apologies on behalf of all Bucks County residents who are ashamed to be represented in Congress by three people who so clearly revile everything that the United States of America is alleged to represent. With any luck at all, two thirds of them won't be going back to Washington next year. And, even though this law will not be repealed in the forseeable future, there is a chance that a Congress out of the hands of the Torture Party will move America more slowly on the path to totalitarianism.
Please direct all correspondence here.