Nobody but nobody can polish the turd in the punch bowl, ignore the elephant in the room or praise the emperor's new clothes better than Elisabeth Bumiller. Not since she took a break to write a bio of the fabulous Condi (rejected title: Three Terms to Victory!) and we read her last White House Letter, in which she mentioned 82% approval ratings for (Laura) Bush and contrasted the First Lady's willingness to shake up her staff with Dear Leader's resistance to do the same, have we been treated to such a determinedly cheerful collection of misplaced attention, selective memory and willful misrepresentation of reality. I've missed her so much.
Now that Hugger McMaverick is the mortal lock for the GOP nomination, the question becomes: exactly where does he tie the albatross that is President CooCooBananas, his Eternal War and his 30% approval rating? The answer? Why, anywhere Dear Leader wants! While getting to that conclusion, Ms. Bumiller avoids any mention of anything that would make this story interesting - nothing about the reason for the 30%, no mention of a certain war or a failing economy. But we do find out that Reagan didn't campaign a lot for Poppy, Team Hugger has plans to "institutionalize" contact with the White House during the campaign, the mistake of excluding Bill from the Gore campaign will not be repeated and, most humorously, the official self-criticism required from Team Hugger about the events of South Carolina 2000 is complete: “'We were dyspeptic jerks who held grudges,' Mr. Salter said." I'm glad that's cleared up.
So grab a refreshment and find a seat in the shade. Ms. Bumiller's Campaign Garden Party has begun.