When I read the headline of the latest White House Letter from Elisabeth Bumiller, Running on a Campaign Trail Paved in Comfy Feathers , I thought finally, here we go. Ms. Bumiller will use the idea of travelling with all the comforts of home to look at how the always happy crowds that BushCo faces are either military people, or employees of a company friendly to him, always non-union. We may even hear about how protesters are shunted out of the view of the press and BushCo as he does photo-op after photo-op. Because, you know, that would be news. But sadly, no. She starts with real feathers and ends with real feathers. And everything in between is the journalistic equivalent of comfy feathers.
There are two possible explanations for today's White House Letter. The first gives Ms. Bumiller credit for being an obviously intelligent person and talented writer. It also assumes that she's tired of writing People Magazine-style puff pieces about BushCo and those around him. It further assumes that she's unaware of the way the columns she writes are extensions of the BushCo campaign effort or, if not unaware, then finally fed up with being used that way. If we assume all that, then we can read today's completely ridiculous piece as a subtle cry for help. "Get me off this beat. My professional soul is dying. Love, Elisabeth" That would explain lines like:
he [BushCo] also wanted to wake up in his own bed in the governor's mansion in Austin, Tex., and pad downstairs for the comforting ritual of fetching the newspapers and making coffee.
the president demands that they be day trips so he can be back at the White House in time for dinner and, of course, a night with his feather pillow in his own bed.
He does stay on occasion in the presidential suites of the finest hotels, but never at Best Westerns or Holiday Inns.
the president insisted that he and Representative Vito J. Fossella, another New York Republican, watch sports on the trip back to Washington.
and the president was home in time to sleep in his own bed.
So he's a whiny, spoiled, pillow-obsessed bully, right? Sounds right to me, but is the NYTimes in the business of putting satire in their news section? Because if we're going to give Ms. Bumiller the benefit of the doubt, that would have to be the case. This White House Letter is that absurd.
The second possibility is more likely; these White House Letters are a conscious effort by the NYTimes to help Team BushCo by constantly putting out the talking points that they need the public to absorb as fact in order to spin the image of their guy. They are:
1. BushCo is in charge of all the campaign decisions.
2. He's happy to campaign and this point can't be stressed enough.
3. He's nice, patient and disciplined.
4. BushCo is a regular guy, who likes us all.
We get them all fed to us again. This is the fifth time by my count from Ms. Bumiller alone. Set your brain for infoganda.
These days, one of the striking things about Mr. Bush's campaign for re-election is how much he actually likes getting out and asking people for votes.
I warned you to set your brain for infoganda. You can't blame me if that sentence made your head hurt.
"I have to say campaigning is a little bit different than that first one, in 1978," Mrs. Bush told the crowd. "These days we get to travel in a very nice airplane instead of an old Chevy Cutlass."
He drove a crappy car - just like you! Ms. Bumiller corrects the mistake on the make, but says it doesn't matter that Waura got it wrong. I, on the other hand, want to see photos of that damn Oldsmobile, with BushCo and Warua in it.
Mr. Bush, who thrives on order and routine, now controls his schedule in a way that no challenger can. In fact, he controls his schedule in a way that virtually no other human being can.
Like no other human can. He's SuperSchedule Man, the man of infinite discipline.
"If somehow the schedule got upset, he would always want to know why it got upset, what was the problem, what do we do to salvage the day?" But now, Mr. Rath said, "he can drive his schedule and balance it a lot more than he did then."
BushCo is in charge.
"Coming back in the car," Mr. King said, "he's telling us: `We're going to relax on the way back. You guys are going to watch the basketball game.' He was telling us about this new screen he has, how you can get ESPN."
He watches ESPN! Just like you. And how very nice to invite the underlings to watch television with him.
The look on his face was, `I'm the most powerful guy in the world and I can't get my television to work.' And the guy comes back and says, `It takes seven minutes to warm up.' "
He has problems with those stupid remote controls. Just like you! But it wasn't his fault. It's never his fault.
There are more examples, of course, but you can go find them for yourself. It's fun. Include your favorites in your letter to the NYTimes ombudsman: public@nytimes.com
UPDATE: Courtesy of Elayne Riggs, we get this Salon story that gives us insight into BushCo's attitude toward voters who don't love him bunches.
Hang on, if he "actually likes getting out and asking people for votes," then why does he respond by telling voters
Posted by: Elayne Riggs | March 22, 2004 at 01:52 PM
Oops, I didn't realize you weren't HTML enabled. Check this out:
http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2004/03/19/bush_encounter/index_np.html
Posted by: Elayne Riggs | March 22, 2004 at 01:54 PM
Whoa - I just read that Salon piece. This is exactly why the WH is pressing so hard on their BushCo Personality Talking Points. There is info out there that exposes him for the horrible elitist he is. I'll update the post with the link. Thanks!
Also, I thought I got the comments to be HTML enabled. I'll try it again.
Posted by: eRobin | March 22, 2004 at 02:28 PM
Oh my freakin' God. When you quoted the title of Bumiller's piece (hadn't seen it yet), I thought you were joking. (Frustration sometimes moves me to do that myself.) And it turns out to be real. Comfy feathers??? COMFY FEATHERS!???
Posted by: Michael | March 22, 2004 at 05:23 PM