From the Desk of: PS Winterhalter, Dir Worker Management
To: John Engler, Pres & CEO, National Association of Manufacturers
Re: Update Report on Project Free Labor
Dear John:
The latest statistics are in from our most recent study and I am pleased to report that Project Free Labor has taken a giant step toward its ultimate goal of eliminating all labor costs.
As you know, we have been using our clout with our employees in Congress to create a labor situation that is extremely favorable to us. Wages have remained stable for 30 years while executive pay packs have skyrocketed in value. By joining our friends in Wall Street in their efforts to merge with the Executive Office and the White House, we have been able to promote a series of economic crises that have made us all rich and forced millions of workers to take major cutbacks. By destroying the part of the economy that benefits non-investors, we have made serious inroads into the most stubborn obstacle between us and our ultimate goal of unpaid labor.
I am pleased to be able to report to you today that worker expectations have been significantly lowered to the point where many previously picky workers who objected to low pay and unacceptable working conditions are so happy just to have a job that they are now willing to take them under whatever conditions we decree.
A result [of our planned recession/depression - PSW] is a new cadre of underemployed workers dotting American companies, occupying slots several rungs below where they are accustomed to working. These are not the more drastic examples of former professionals toiling away at "survival jobs" at Home Depot or Starbucks. They are the former chief financial officer working as comptroller, the onetime marketing director who is back to being an analyst, the former manager who is once again an "individual contributor."
The phenomenon was probably inevitable in a labor market in which job seekers outnumber openings five to one. Employers are seizing the opportunity to stock up on discounted talent....
As this article shows, we are now in the Third Phase of Project Free Labor where mid-level executives are being forced to accept jobs well below their former pay grade, thus increasing the downward pressure on all wages. After all, if an ex-CFO has to work for 20% of his old salary, shouldn't some line-worker or clerk be willing to do the same?
I know that we still have a long way to go to a labor pool that will cost us nothing at all because we won 't have to pay them anything, but I believe this latest development proves that we are on the right course and that, while contriving the deliberate near-destruction of the world economy was a somewhat daring strategy, it is now clear that it has been successful and was well worth the risks we took on behalf of ourselves and our investors.
PS Winterhalter, Director
The Free Labor Project
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